Review - Message

Welcome to the first in my series of reviews Sakura Gakuin and related artists discography until like everything else it eventually peters out and I give up!

Today I will be reviewing Sakura Gakuin's first full-length album, Nendo 2010's Message. Seeing as how it has been out almost five years, it may seem strange to be reviewing it. That's something you'll get have to get over. I'll rate each song on a scale of 1-10, and then conclude with an overall album rating.

I've been hearing for years that "the album is dead" thanks to the resurgence of a single-driven industry facilitated by iTunes & the advent of downloading music. I still believe that a well-crafted album is more than just a random collection of songs, no matter how good, and offers the listener a transcendent experience.

So, diving in...

Su, you brought spatulas...what the hell?

FLY AWAY - The album opens with a soaring number ( just a little joke for the TA's in the room), and sort of a bold choice for the opening track of a debut album, sampling briefly from the tracks that come later. It's powerful and energetic, and really gets the listener pumped up for what's to come. FLY AWAY is a magnificent selection for an opening track, although in all honesty any of the first 3 songs would have been excellent choices. (9/10)

Hello! IVY - Lots of people have told me that this is the best song in the album. While it's so clearly not, it is absolutely an infectiously catchy song. I initially was not so taken with this track - I blame the guitar solo, which felt a little to studio-corporate (even for Japan) - but it has grown on me over time, no doubt to all the video of lives I've seen. (7/10)

Chime - This song is a little different from the first two, less traditional and with an unexpected sound. It's as powerful and inspiring as the album's opening track, but with a more mature and self-assured calmness to it. There's no denying that Chime has become one of the songs most ingrained into the institution of SG; the song's opening notes are the go-to sound track for introducing new members and merch at live shows. Chime is simply baked into Sakura Gakuin's DNA. (8/10)

Happy Birthday - This song is the first appearance on the album of an SG sub-unit. Let me just say this to get it out of the way: I Love Sub-units! What a great way for the individual girls to better showcase their unique charm points!! They are like the funnest thing ever!!! Okay, that said, Happy Birthday is one of the weaker sub-unit songs; it's great for when your friends on Facebook have a birthday and you can post the video on their wall, but for day-to-day listening, it gets a little repetitive. A good, not great, song. (6/10)

Princess a la Mode - I'm so glad they put two Mini-Pati songs on this album. This one is the obvious superior to Happy Birthday. The 8-bit effects are a bit stronger and more nuanced. It really hurt me bad in my soul to give an average rating to a Marina song, so I'm glad to give this an (8/10)

Brand New Day - Unfortunately, this is Scoopers only song. However, they went out on top. This song is amazing! It has a bit of an 80's Joe Jackson meets the Cars feel to it. But it's better than either of them. Way better. I would have thought that Ayaka's voice would overpower the soft-spoken Airi's, but it turns out they complement each other incredibly well. (9/10)

Dear Mr. Socrates - The Twinklestars sound has always seemed a little redolent of Ben Folds for some reason. Whatever, it works well. Upbeat as hell, it's impossible not to tap your foot along or drive aggressively but joyfully through the streets well above the posted speed limit while listening. (8/10)

Medaka No Kyoudai - Definitive Sleepiece masterpiece. Just try to keep your hands from moving during CHUNCHUN. (10/10)

Doki Doki Morning - By the end of the first chorus, it's obvious Suzuka has found her calling. Even if this wasn't an incredibly great song - which it totally is - it's game-changing importance to the landscape of modern music (especially the stagnant metal genre) as the beginning of BABYMETAL earns it an impossibly high rating. (11/10)

Yume ni Mukkate - Another uplifting song is the vein of Chime, but with more importance placed on all the girl's voices coming together in a stirring chorus. Good stuff! (8/10)

Message - Finally at the very end we get to the title track. If there was an official SG school song, this would be it. I don't usually go for ballads, but with this I cri evrtiem. (8/10)

Overall, I think you can make a pretty good case that Message is the best SG album ever. Hell, I certainly wouldn't argue with you. The tracklist almost plays out along the chronology of a nendo: the early excitement and energy towards the beginning, getting involved in clubs and academic life in the middle, and then finishing with a bit of weepy-eyed sentimentality and nostalgia at the end. Especially given that this is a debut album by a bunch of young and (for the most part) inexperienced singers, Message is close to perfect. (9/10)

The 5 Stages of Fukei

Each of us come from different backgrounds, and are in many ways vastly different from one another. And yet we are all following a similar path, one on which we've forged wonderful friendships and had amazing experiences that we just would not have had in the absence of Sakura Gakuin.

For those of you who are just beginning your first tentative steps on this well-worn path, let me offer you a little insight as to what you should expect. And remember, your experiences may vary and I might also just be making this all up as I go along...

Stage One: Denial

Credit to Pale-san

When a sneaking moment of clarity first finds you with your guard down, your temptation is to dismiss it out of hand - to give your head a quick shake to knock the thought loose and pretend it never happened. Yes, you like Babymetal or Mutou Ayami, but this whole Sakura Gakuin thing just isn't for you...

But make no mistake; there is no turning back. The more you struggle, the worse it will be for you. This is your life now, fukei-san.

Stage Two: Anger

I would not want to be Ooga Saki right now

Now, to be honest, with the girls now in our lives, anger is not as much of an issue as maybe it previously was. In fact, right now the only reason any anger might exist in you is that you are not yet in your final form - you are in a sense fighting your destiny.

There might also be some anger as you begin to learn the struggle. In the past, I listed some things that would make a person a "true fukei" (which is not A Thing!), but I just realized I left one off: being called a pedo. It's kind of a shock to hear it at first, but the pain recedes and eventually disappears as you become more confident in your life's work of supporting the girls. It is easy to bear the sting of these verbal attacks as you begin to notice how much joy the fukei life brings you. The feeling of pride in the girls as they take on challenges and succeed in their performances is so enriching and rejuvenating. The bittersweet graduations remind you of just how amazing and inspirational these young people are. They are all our precious members.

Stage Three: Bargaining

I wasn't sure whether to use this picture for 'Bargaining' or 'Denial'...

At this point, you are having some interesting internal discussions with yourself. Or in some cases, they are being played out in public, usually on social media. I remember myself, still not surrendered to my wonderful fate, posting videos of Mini-Pati on my Facebook wall, trying to convince everyone (or maybe just myself?) that I was in no danger of going full-fukei, full-otaku, full-weeabo, however you want to phrase it.

"Look," I would say, posting a video of 'Miracle Patiful Humberger', "this is like two-thirds of Babymetal, and I don't like this music at all. In fact, I can't even get through the whole video without turning it off."  But then I stumbled across a Sleepiece video, and then a couple from Logica?, and before I knew it I was deep into the sub-unit catalog, finding myself humming 'Acha! Tea! Curry!' in the shower. It was all so weird because I thought that I only liked Sakura Gakuin for the non-music videos - the nendo tests and tv interviews and stuff - but I could sense the hooks getting deeper into me.

Okay, I will like them and all, I told myself, but I'm certainly not going to buy any merch. I'll be done with SG once Yui & Moa are done...

And you keep making deals with yourself like that because for some dumb reason you can't admit your life revolves around Sakura Gakuin now. At this point, pretty much everyone knows it but you.

Stage Four: Depression 

The Kubler-Ross model postualtes that this stage should be present here, but honestly a lot of people never experience it. I suppose there may be a little bit of sadness if some non-understanding friends choose to cut ties with you as you're going through this metamorphosis, but if that's the case they were never really your friends to begin with. Besides, you have already made a bajillion new friends through SG anyway.

Stage Five: Acceptance

Congratualtions, you've made it. The struggle is real: embrace it.