Iida Wowza

Okay, so this picture is the closest Sakura Gakuin has come to breaking the internet since Honjo Day (May 25, 2014 #NeverForget):

Wow, Rau...

Everyone is talking about this picture, so let's talk about it.

Actually, I don't want to talk abou tit. All I can say is that if Raura is comfortable and happy with her work, then I completely support her.  It's difficult to wrap my head around all this, because I still see her as the stern little ragamuffin who sang Mini-Pati songs and slapped people when they needed a good slapping.

For me, Sakura Gakuin-era Raura was not one of the girls who popped out at me and demanded attention. She was a wonderful member and remains a wonderful person and Super Lady. She was not one of my oshimen like Marina or Yui, but there is one thing about Raura that has endeared me to her...well, two things, actually: her 'BossPanda' mentality that helped provide a maternal influence to all the kouhai, and this wonderful sentiment she expressed:

I use this phrase like all the time

Ganbare, Rau!

*Sigh*

They grow up so fast...

Shy On Camera - LoGiRL Daisuki!

Shy on Camera - The 5 Stages of Fukei

The 5 Stages of Fukei

Each of us come from different backgrounds, and are in many ways vastly different from one another. And yet we are all following a similar path, one on which we've forged wonderful friendships and had amazing experiences that we just would not have had in the absence of Sakura Gakuin.

For those of you who are just beginning your first tentative steps on this well-worn path, let me offer you a little insight as to what you should expect. And remember, your experiences may vary and I might also just be making this all up as I go along...

Stage One: Denial

Credit to Pale-san

When a sneaking moment of clarity first finds you with your guard down, your temptation is to dismiss it out of hand - to give your head a quick shake to knock the thought loose and pretend it never happened. Yes, you like Babymetal or Mutou Ayami, but this whole Sakura Gakuin thing just isn't for you...

But make no mistake; there is no turning back. The more you struggle, the worse it will be for you. This is your life now, fukei-san.

Stage Two: Anger

I would not want to be Ooga Saki right now

Now, to be honest, with the girls now in our lives, anger is not as much of an issue as maybe it previously was. In fact, right now the only reason any anger might exist in you is that you are not yet in your final form - you are in a sense fighting your destiny.

There might also be some anger as you begin to learn the struggle. In the past, I listed some things that would make a person a "true fukei" (which is not A Thing!), but I just realized I left one off: being called a pedo. It's kind of a shock to hear it at first, but the pain recedes and eventually disappears as you become more confident in your life's work of supporting the girls. It is easy to bear the sting of these verbal attacks as you begin to notice how much joy the fukei life brings you. The feeling of pride in the girls as they take on challenges and succeed in their performances is so enriching and rejuvenating. The bittersweet graduations remind you of just how amazing and inspirational these young people are. They are all our precious members.

Stage Three: Bargaining

I wasn't sure whether to use this picture for 'Bargaining' or 'Denial'...

At this point, you are having some interesting internal discussions with yourself. Or in some cases, they are being played out in public, usually on social media. I remember myself, still not surrendered to my wonderful fate, posting videos of Mini-Pati on my Facebook wall, trying to convince everyone (or maybe just myself?) that I was in no danger of going full-fukei, full-otaku, full-weeabo, however you want to phrase it.

"Look," I would say, posting a video of 'Miracle Patiful Humberger', "this is like two-thirds of Babymetal, and I don't like this music at all. In fact, I can't even get through the whole video without turning it off."  But then I stumbled across a Sleepiece video, and then a couple from Logica?, and before I knew it I was deep into the sub-unit catalog, finding myself humming 'Acha! Tea! Curry!' in the shower. It was all so weird because I thought that I only liked Sakura Gakuin for the non-music videos - the nendo tests and tv interviews and stuff - but I could sense the hooks getting deeper into me.

Okay, I will like them and all, I told myself, but I'm certainly not going to buy any merch. I'll be done with SG once Yui & Moa are done...

And you keep making deals with yourself like that because for some dumb reason you can't admit your life revolves around Sakura Gakuin now. At this point, pretty much everyone knows it but you.

Stage Four: Depression 

The Kubler-Ross model postualtes that this stage should be present here, but honestly a lot of people never experience it. I suppose there may be a little bit of sadness if some non-understanding friends choose to cut ties with you as you're going through this metamorphosis, but if that's the case they were never really your friends to begin with. Besides, you have already made a bajillion new friends through SG anyway.

Stage Five: Acceptance

Congratualtions, you've made it. The struggle is real: embrace it.

Go Look At My Stuff Somewhere Else For A Change

Wow, I'm honored to be noticed by Babymetal Newswire-senpai!

.@ShyFukei unveils his Asmart package full of #SakuraGakuin items! #さくら学院 https://t.co/PBcz8QQfdk pic.twitter.com/wowPD3bHCx

— Babymetal Newswire (@babymetalnews_) October 3, 2015

NOTE: I have inflated the stats with 1 RT & 1 Favorite. Sorry, not sorry...

 

If you've never visited the site, you should drop everything, close this tab right now, and head on over. I really respect the amount of time and energy put into updating and maintaining it. Maik is a true fueki (which I know, not a thing, but still...). The amount of work it must be is staggering. I'm waaaaaay too busy to do something like that.

Okay...way too lazy.

Look, I'm just busy being lazy is all.

Anyways, as I was saying, check it out. Babymetal Newswire has anything you could want: a deep archive of photos and recorded interviews, extensive history and biographies, song lyrics, past and future tour dates, a Sakura Gakuin section, and even a guide on how to become one of The One.

Look, it's just a really great site, okay??? Go there now!

To Be A True Fukei...

Okay, I'm not about to try to come up a one thing that makes someone a "true" fukei, or even try to concoct some certain magic combination of things that will imbue you with Super Fukei powers. The fanbase of Babymetal/Sakura Gakuin is far too diverse, with people coming from all kinds of different means and backgrounds and corners of the world. We all do what we can. And of course some of us are just starting out and simply haven't had the opportunity to devote the time to do many of the things on an exhaustive list.

Okay, wait...I lied; there is probably one thing that everyone must conform to in order to be considered a true fukei, and that is to support our girls. That's why we are all here, after all.

That said, I've come up with a list of items that either I have done or know other people who have done them. If you have done at least some of them, you know the struggle and you can certainly be counted as a true fukei. Here goes:

1. You have devoted hours to learning all of the girl's names and can recognize them by face, or in some cases, just an ear or an arm

2. You've been confronted by worried family or friends about your interests

3. You've taken a job (or an extra job) to support your merch habit

4. You've sent merch or fan art to a friend you met through Babymetal/SG, but have never met IRL

5. You've met an online friend IRL specifically because of Babymetal/SG (concerts, conventions, etc.)

6. You still call Ooga Saki "Baby-chan"

7. You've started to learn Japanese

8. You've started a Facebook page, website, blog, or some other type of fansite


9. You've rearranged your work, school, or sleep schedule to watch LoGiRL

10. You've maxed out a drive or online storage account with Babymetal/SG videos & pictures

11. You've traveled to another country for a concert

12. You openly discuss your crying jags after watching RTGs

13. You've literally had to stay in bed the day after a Sakura Gakuin graduation

14. You've named a pet or child after one of the girls, or at least had a very loud argument about it

15. You know how many of the girls have never participated in Mezase Super Lady, and you can name all of them

16. You've turned off your Babymetal news alerts on Google because they only report stuff that you found out like a week ago

17. You have bootlegs of Chigau and Awadama Fever

18. You can talk to a stranger about the significance of the number 4 in Japan for at least 60 seconds non-stop

19. You've redecorated your room in a Babymetal/SG theme

20. You've had stickers, posters, or shirts custom printed

21. You've ever told someone "Tenso is so easy, I don't know what I was so worried about"

22. You refer to Shirai Saki as "one of us"

23. You can pick yourself or friends out of concert footage

24. You used to desperately want English subs and now you don't even care

25. You're already thinking about whether Sara or Mirena will be the next president (it will be Sara)

26. You read articles about Babymetal online and compose a mental list of glaring factual errors as you go along

27. You experienced the emotional rollercoaster of Honjo Day

28. You have Babymetal money

29. You've contracted carpal tunnel syndrome from non-stop kitsune-ing

30. You held serious discussions where you were seriously concerned about Moa's fitness for performing in a high altitude venue

31. You have ever offered a burnt sacrifice to Kitsune-sama or the Amuse Board of Directors

32. Your life has immeasurably improved since our girls danced into it

I'm sure I left out a ton of things. Let me know if you can think of any others...

Merch from Asmart, 25/09/2015