Review - Message

Welcome to the first in my series of reviews Sakura Gakuin and related artists discography until like everything else it eventually peters out and I give up!

Today I will be reviewing Sakura Gakuin's first full-length album, Nendo 2010's Message. Seeing as how it has been out almost five years, it may seem strange to be reviewing it. That's something you'll get have to get over. I'll rate each song on a scale of 1-10, and then conclude with an overall album rating.

I've been hearing for years that "the album is dead" thanks to the resurgence of a single-driven industry facilitated by iTunes & the advent of downloading music. I still believe that a well-crafted album is more than just a random collection of songs, no matter how good, and offers the listener a transcendent experience.

So, diving in...

Su, you brought spatulas...what the hell?

FLY AWAY - The album opens with a soaring number ( just a little joke for the TA's in the room), and sort of a bold choice for the opening track of a debut album, sampling briefly from the tracks that come later. It's powerful and energetic, and really gets the listener pumped up for what's to come. FLY AWAY is a magnificent selection for an opening track, although in all honesty any of the first 3 songs would have been excellent choices. (9/10)

Hello! IVY - Lots of people have told me that this is the best song in the album. While it's so clearly not, it is absolutely an infectiously catchy song. I initially was not so taken with this track - I blame the guitar solo, which felt a little to studio-corporate (even for Japan) - but it has grown on me over time, no doubt to all the video of lives I've seen. (7/10)

Chime - This song is a little different from the first two, less traditional and with an unexpected sound. It's as powerful and inspiring as the album's opening track, but with a more mature and self-assured calmness to it. There's no denying that Chime has become one of the songs most ingrained into the institution of SG; the song's opening notes are the go-to sound track for introducing new members and merch at live shows. Chime is simply baked into Sakura Gakuin's DNA. (8/10)

Happy Birthday - This song is the first appearance on the album of an SG sub-unit. Let me just say this to get it out of the way: I Love Sub-units! What a great way for the individual girls to better showcase their unique charm points!! They are like the funnest thing ever!!! Okay, that said, Happy Birthday is one of the weaker sub-unit songs; it's great for when your friends on Facebook have a birthday and you can post the video on their wall, but for day-to-day listening, it gets a little repetitive. A good, not great, song. (6/10)

Princess a la Mode - I'm so glad they put two Mini-Pati songs on this album. This one is the obvious superior to Happy Birthday. The 8-bit effects are a bit stronger and more nuanced. It really hurt me bad in my soul to give an average rating to a Marina song, so I'm glad to give this an (8/10)

Brand New Day - Unfortunately, this is Scoopers only song. However, they went out on top. This song is amazing! It has a bit of an 80's Joe Jackson meets the Cars feel to it. But it's better than either of them. Way better. I would have thought that Ayaka's voice would overpower the soft-spoken Airi's, but it turns out they complement each other incredibly well. (9/10)

Dear Mr. Socrates - The Twinklestars sound has always seemed a little redolent of Ben Folds for some reason. Whatever, it works well. Upbeat as hell, it's impossible not to tap your foot along or drive aggressively but joyfully through the streets well above the posted speed limit while listening. (8/10)

Medaka No Kyoudai - Definitive Sleepiece masterpiece. Just try to keep your hands from moving during CHUNCHUN. (10/10)

Doki Doki Morning - By the end of the first chorus, it's obvious Suzuka has found her calling. Even if this wasn't an incredibly great song - which it totally is - it's game-changing importance to the landscape of modern music (especially the stagnant metal genre) as the beginning of BABYMETAL earns it an impossibly high rating. (11/10)

Yume ni Mukkate - Another uplifting song is the vein of Chime, but with more importance placed on all the girl's voices coming together in a stirring chorus. Good stuff! (8/10)

Message - Finally at the very end we get to the title track. If there was an official SG school song, this would be it. I don't usually go for ballads, but with this I cri evrtiem. (8/10)

Overall, I think you can make a pretty good case that Message is the best SG album ever. Hell, I certainly wouldn't argue with you. The tracklist almost plays out along the chronology of a nendo: the early excitement and energy towards the beginning, getting involved in clubs and academic life in the middle, and then finishing with a bit of weepy-eyed sentimentality and nostalgia at the end. Especially given that this is a debut album by a bunch of young and (for the most part) inexperienced singers, Message is close to perfect. (9/10)

Ibaraki Highschooler

I used to know this girl who has since seemed to drop out of facebook who was huge into [Ibaraki Highschooler]. I usually don't friend underage girls or boys because it's kind of really weird and creepy, but I will make an occasional exception if they are someone who seems mature, intelligent and also they never, ever message me or bother me in any way. This girl on facebook was 16 or 17, I think, but she was more articulate and witty than most college graduates I know, so I made an exception and accepted her friend request.

Anyway, this girl who has since dropped off the face of the earth (not unlike her oshimen) would always tell me that deep in her heart, what she really, truly believed is that [Ibaraki Highschooler] is life, [Ibaraki Highschooler] is love. I wish I could write it so that you might see it conveyed in its original, beautifully poetic form, but jackals at Amuse are so relentless.

Until she opened my eyes to the glory of [Ibaraki Highschooler], she held a place in my heart somewhere near Rau, basically right in the middle of the of the pack of the (at that time) 19 members.  I've discussed this before, but for a quick review:

• Oshimen: Marina, Yui, Megumi, Soyo, Mirena

• My queen: Suzuka

• The reason for my smile: Moa

• 2nd tier: Hinata, Rinon, Hana, Ooga Saki, Maaya, Ayaka, Kano, Sara, Ibaraki Highschooler

• Middle girls: Raura, Shirai Saki, Marin, Ayami, Airi, Momoko

• Not so crazy about (still love & support them, but whatever): Aiko, Yunano, Mariri

And before you ask, yes it's possible to have more than one oshimen. I totally looked it up online and everything. Don't worry if they don't seem to make sense: all of these categorizations are legit and ISO-9000 certified for your assurance.

Now for me, Mariri falls into the bottom category simply by the virtue of the brevity of her tenure. The 2012 nendo was before my time in this fandom, and there just isn't very much available recorded material to get to know her very well. Plus, she is the only member in SG history to quit - it seems almost like a rejection or betrayal on her part!

And so, somewhat ironically, one of he things that has endeared Nene-don - is Nene-don okay? -

*receives cease & desist letter from Amuse, Inc.*

- okay, one of the things that has endeared [Ibaraki Highschooler] to me is the fact that she herself came very, very close to quitting Sakura Gakuin in her second year as a middle schooler. You can read about it here; it's fascinating stuff if you've never heard about it before. Reading about it brought out another dimension in [Ibaraki Highschooler], and made me appreciate all her hard work and sacrifice - done especially for fukei like you and me - all the more.

It does make me wonder, though...what if she had joined Mariri and quit? How would I (and the rest of the fandom, for that matter) have seen her - would it have had that same sense of rejection or betrayal? Would it seem worse due to her long tenure in SG, and even before that, in Mini-Pati? The more I think about it, the more I feel that probably would not be the case. I think I'd see her as a tragic figure, maybe like a victim of the unforgiving idol machine that pushes these girls to such extremes. Plus, she would have been undefeated in the nendo tests, so there's that.

In any case, I admire her moxie in sticking it out and overcoming the adversity. And I support her decision to leave the industry on her own terms and go into the field of nursing. Can you imagine getting hit by a car in Ibaraki and ending up in her hospital? What a rush.

So yeah, maybe [Ibaraki Highschooler] is one of my second tier girls, but of course...

...each of the girls, no matter which tier, have their special and endearing charm points. They all deserve our appreciation and support. They are all our precious members.

Even Mariri.

Can't stay mad at u gurl

And especially [Ibaraki Highschooler]

Ichiban! ICHIBAN!!!

Iida Wowza

Okay, so this picture is the closest Sakura Gakuin has come to breaking the internet since Honjo Day (May 25, 2014 #NeverForget):

Wow, Rau...

Everyone is talking about this picture, so let's talk about it.

Actually, I don't want to talk abou tit. All I can say is that if Raura is comfortable and happy with her work, then I completely support her.  It's difficult to wrap my head around all this, because I still see her as the stern little ragamuffin who sang Mini-Pati songs and slapped people when they needed a good slapping.

For me, Sakura Gakuin-era Raura was not one of the girls who popped out at me and demanded attention. She was a wonderful member and remains a wonderful person and Super Lady. She was not one of my oshimen like Marina or Yui, but there is one thing about Raura that has endeared me to her...well, two things, actually: her 'BossPanda' mentality that helped provide a maternal influence to all the kouhai, and this wonderful sentiment she expressed:

I use this phrase like all the time

Ganbare, Rau!

*Sigh*

They grow up so fast...

Shy On Camera - LoGiRL Daisuki!

Shy on Camera - The 5 Stages of Fukei

The 5 Stages of Fukei

Each of us come from different backgrounds, and are in many ways vastly different from one another. And yet we are all following a similar path, one on which we've forged wonderful friendships and had amazing experiences that we just would not have had in the absence of Sakura Gakuin.

For those of you who are just beginning your first tentative steps on this well-worn path, let me offer you a little insight as to what you should expect. And remember, your experiences may vary and I might also just be making this all up as I go along...

Stage One: Denial

Credit to Pale-san

When a sneaking moment of clarity first finds you with your guard down, your temptation is to dismiss it out of hand - to give your head a quick shake to knock the thought loose and pretend it never happened. Yes, you like Babymetal or Mutou Ayami, but this whole Sakura Gakuin thing just isn't for you...

But make no mistake; there is no turning back. The more you struggle, the worse it will be for you. This is your life now, fukei-san.

Stage Two: Anger

I would not want to be Ooga Saki right now

Now, to be honest, with the girls now in our lives, anger is not as much of an issue as maybe it previously was. In fact, right now the only reason any anger might exist in you is that you are not yet in your final form - you are in a sense fighting your destiny.

There might also be some anger as you begin to learn the struggle. In the past, I listed some things that would make a person a "true fukei" (which is not A Thing!), but I just realized I left one off: being called a pedo. It's kind of a shock to hear it at first, but the pain recedes and eventually disappears as you become more confident in your life's work of supporting the girls. It is easy to bear the sting of these verbal attacks as you begin to notice how much joy the fukei life brings you. The feeling of pride in the girls as they take on challenges and succeed in their performances is so enriching and rejuvenating. The bittersweet graduations remind you of just how amazing and inspirational these young people are. They are all our precious members.

Stage Three: Bargaining

I wasn't sure whether to use this picture for 'Bargaining' or 'Denial'...

At this point, you are having some interesting internal discussions with yourself. Or in some cases, they are being played out in public, usually on social media. I remember myself, still not surrendered to my wonderful fate, posting videos of Mini-Pati on my Facebook wall, trying to convince everyone (or maybe just myself?) that I was in no danger of going full-fukei, full-otaku, full-weeabo, however you want to phrase it.

"Look," I would say, posting a video of 'Miracle Patiful Humberger', "this is like two-thirds of Babymetal, and I don't like this music at all. In fact, I can't even get through the whole video without turning it off."  But then I stumbled across a Sleepiece video, and then a couple from Logica?, and before I knew it I was deep into the sub-unit catalog, finding myself humming 'Acha! Tea! Curry!' in the shower. It was all so weird because I thought that I only liked Sakura Gakuin for the non-music videos - the nendo tests and tv interviews and stuff - but I could sense the hooks getting deeper into me.

Okay, I will like them and all, I told myself, but I'm certainly not going to buy any merch. I'll be done with SG once Yui & Moa are done...

And you keep making deals with yourself like that because for some dumb reason you can't admit your life revolves around Sakura Gakuin now. At this point, pretty much everyone knows it but you.

Stage Four: Depression 

The Kubler-Ross model postualtes that this stage should be present here, but honestly a lot of people never experience it. I suppose there may be a little bit of sadness if some non-understanding friends choose to cut ties with you as you're going through this metamorphosis, but if that's the case they were never really your friends to begin with. Besides, you have already made a bajillion new friends through SG anyway.

Stage Five: Acceptance

Congratualtions, you've made it. The struggle is real: embrace it.

Go Look At My Stuff Somewhere Else For A Change

Wow, I'm honored to be noticed by Babymetal Newswire-senpai!

.@ShyFukei unveils his Asmart package full of #SakuraGakuin items! #さくら学院 https://t.co/PBcz8QQfdk pic.twitter.com/wowPD3bHCx

— Babymetal Newswire (@babymetalnews_) October 3, 2015

NOTE: I have inflated the stats with 1 RT & 1 Favorite. Sorry, not sorry...

 

If you've never visited the site, you should drop everything, close this tab right now, and head on over. I really respect the amount of time and energy put into updating and maintaining it. Maik is a true fueki (which I know, not a thing, but still...). The amount of work it must be is staggering. I'm waaaaaay too busy to do something like that.

Okay...way too lazy.

Look, I'm just busy being lazy is all.

Anyways, as I was saying, check it out. Babymetal Newswire has anything you could want: a deep archive of photos and recorded interviews, extensive history and biographies, song lyrics, past and future tour dates, a Sakura Gakuin section, and even a guide on how to become one of The One.

Look, it's just a really great site, okay??? Go there now!